special needs parenting

Grocery Trip and Special Needs

January 23, 2020 by Amy Green, posted in Uncategorized

This Kid right here.

He just amazes me.

This is Carter, he is Eli’s brother. He is currently 11 years old going on 30.

During the weekday, I usually pick him up from school and we head to our local grocery store on our way home to pick up something to make for dinner. It’s just a little thing we like to do together.

Yesterday, I picked him up and we proceeded to go to our favorite little local grocery store right around the corner from our house. Pasta was sounding delicious for dinner that evening.

As we walked down the isles gathering our things, Carter spotted a young male walking and skipping down the isles by himself talking and singing away. It was noticeable he had down syndrome and Carter was worried that he was all alone. The next thing I knew, Carter had made his way over to this very robust free-spirited young man and started talking to him. They hung out together for the whole rest of our shopping trip.

At checkout, he hung out with us and when we were done we said goodbye to him and went our way.

When we left, Carter said that his grandma was in the hospital, and he was hanging out at the store with someone who I guess worked there.

After my son finished telling me all the things they talked about and how cool and sweet he thought he was, his little face got serious.

Mom? He asked me. Why were other people giving him disgusted looks while he was trying to talk to them or while he was just skipping down the aisles singing? Why were they ignoring him?

It reminded me once again how insanely proud I am of my son.

I told him that yes, as awful as it is, a few my be disgusted, but some people feel nervous around people with special needs, they don’t know how to act. They don’t know how to not be weird, they weren’t taught.

He said that’s ridiculous! What, like they are scared? Yes, I told him.. I guess in a way, some people are. Carter just couldn’t wrap his head around it. How can they be scared of him when he is a human being just like us?

I told him “See this one of the many reasons you are special. You have such a kind heart Carter, and you are right, he is no different from you and me. You have the privilege to have Eli as a brother, you know what it is like to be around your brother who has special needs. You see first hand what it’s like and how hard your brother works to learn and accomplish certain things.”

“You know that he may do things differently, but he is no different. You my son, will make a difference in the world.”

“BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD.”

—Mahatma Gandhi

Ice Cream Mishap and Communication 1 of 2

January 22, 2020January 22, 2020 by Amy Green, posted in Uncategorized

Meltdowns are hard.

Meltdowns, as your child gets older and into their teens and adulthood, are extremely hard.

You want to keep them safe, keep yourself safe, and everything around you safe.

Eli has behavioral issues that just take over at times. His aggression seems to stem from his Anxiety and then not being able to express himself and communicate.

So we constantly talk and communicate.

By repeating and communicating over and over again, it helps to stick with Eli. You will notice by the end of our chat, Eli was able to answer a few things he couldn’t before. You could also tell he was quite sick of me… I think I saw an eye roll at one point lol!

For us, it is always better to use calming techniques first and then discuss the situation later.

Then, I will recreate what the trigger was in a controlled situation to help Eli get past it, and grow from it so it isn’t an issue in the future.

When Eli was little, I couldn’t talk to him… there was a huge communication barrier. He would just scream. So I would keep it short and pretty much go straight into the exercises.

There was a time I didn’t think any of it was working, but I just kept doing it.

What could I possibly lose? Nothing.

What could I possibly gain? Everything.

Aggression is Never Okay

January 19, 2020January 20, 2020 by Amy Green, posted in Uncategorized

I love this kiddo so much.

Last night was a very sad evening.

What was supposed to be a fun time ended with our hearts bruised, heavy, and sad.

Autism aggression is a real thing.

It can be a very scary thing.

It needs to be talked about.

Sometimes it comes on so fast, sometimes you can’t make it better or help make sense of things until it is over.

Sometimes things break and shatter, and nothing feels okay. It can be heartbreaking. The severity of it can be so much that you pray it doesn’t end in a wreck or a hospital visit.

I know we are not the only family dealing with this.

The only thing you can do is pick yourself back up, work and learn from mistakes, and try, try again.

You pray next time it will be just a little less scary.

For Eli, working on the thing that triggered the aggressive behavior and desensitize him from it, along with a LOT of conversations and open communication is the only way to help move past to make sure it hopefully doesn’t happen again.

Eli’s aggression comes from lack of communication, an anxiety disorder, and anger that flares up very quickly that makes him want to attack.

We will always work on these things every single day, giving him the tools to calm himself and express himself in a more appropriate manner.

Eli has come so far. Even though his aggressive attacks might be farther apart, the fact that he is getting bigger, makes it much more destructive.

Communicating by the use of aggression is never okay. I know Eli is capable of learning to verbally communicate and work on not getting to that “seeing red” point.

I refuse to give up or believe that he can’t overcome this. I believe he can.

The Kansas City Boat Show 2020

January 10, 2020January 13, 2020 by Amy Green, posted in Uncategorized

Does your child need the use of headphones to help drown out noise for sensory issues?

For Eli, it all depends on where we are going. If it is loud, we always make sure to have them handy or the poor little guy will be holding his ears the whole time.

Last Night we went to the Kansas City Boat and Sports show. They had a discount for families on Thursday night, and since it was a weeknight, we figured it might not be as packed.

When we parked the car and were ready to head in, I realized we forgot Eli’s Headphones!!!!

Now, if you your kiddo is a “headphone” type kiddo, it’s like a straight panic attack when you realize you don’t have them.

So, We just figured if we go in and it’s to much, we will just leave…. no biggie.

Guys, the place was amazing! It was so sensory friendly, really quiet actually and our whole family had a blast!