Tag: parenting

Grocery Trip and Special Needs

by Amy Green, posted in Uncategorized

This Kid right here.

He just amazes me.

This is Carter, he is Eli’s brother. He is currently 11 years old going on 30.

During the weekday, I usually pick him up from school and we head to our local grocery store on our way home to pick up something to make for dinner. It’s just a little thing we like to do together.

Yesterday, I picked him up and we proceeded to go to our favorite little local grocery store right around the corner from our house. Pasta was sounding delicious for dinner that evening.

As we walked down the isles gathering our things, Carter spotted a young male walking and skipping down the isles by himself talking and singing away. It was noticeable he had down syndrome and Carter was worried that he was all alone. The next thing I knew, Carter had made his way over to this very robust free-spirited young man and started talking to him. They hung out together for the whole rest of our shopping trip.

At checkout, he hung out with us and when we were done we said goodbye to him and went our way.

When we left, Carter said that his grandma was in the hospital, and he was hanging out at the store with someone who I guess worked there.

After my son finished telling me all the things they talked about and how cool and sweet he thought he was, his little face got serious.

Mom? He asked me. Why were other people giving him disgusted looks while he was trying to talk to them or while he was just skipping down the aisles singing? Why were they ignoring him?

It reminded me once again how insanely proud I am of my son.

I told him that yes, as awful as it is, a few my be disgusted, but some people feel nervous around people with special needs, they don’t know how to act. They don’t know how to not be weird, they weren’t taught.

He said that’s ridiculous! What, like they are scared? Yes, I told him.. I guess in a way, some people are. Carter just couldn’t wrap his head around it. How can they be scared of him when he is a human being just like us?

I told him “See this one of the many reasons you are special. You have such a kind heart Carter, and you are right, he is no different from you and me. You have the privilege to have Eli as a brother, you know what it is like to be around your brother who has special needs. You see first hand what it’s like and how hard your brother works to learn and accomplish certain things.”

“You know that he may do things differently, but he is no different. You my son, will make a difference in the world.”

“BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD.”

—Mahatma Gandhi

To Smart for your Own Good

by Amy Green, posted in Uncategorized

I often wonder what is going on in this sweet boys head, I bet more than I could ever imagine. Eli thinks so deeply sometimes, it looks like he is lost in an ocean of endless waves. Eli is so smart, it’s no wonder why we deal with aggressive behaviors. I see mothers on social media talk about their Autistic child and how luckily their child is not aggressive. I am not one of these mothers.

I’m going to be flat out honest with you. My son can be aggressive. Extremely aggressive. Lately we have been lucky it hasn’t been so bad, and we have more better days then not thanks to trying something natural to help his anxiety. But, it has in the past been extremely bad, hospital bad. My heart is so heavy when he has a meltdown. In the past when the meltdowns have been so bad, I hold it together until it is over and then find myself locked away in my master bedroom bathroom where no one can hear, unglued with what seems like an endless stream of tears. Once they dry up, I pick myself up and move forward. If you are a mother of an aggressive autistic child, you know exactly what I am talking about. The pain that strikes through your entire body known to you as pure, gut wrenching heartache.

Have you ever thought about the saying “You are to smart for your own good”? Well, imagine being “to smart for your own good” and not being able to get the words out, tell someone, do something about it. Then you feel a surge of anxiety and like you are losing your mind. You flip out into a nervous breakdown most likely ending in something broken, or someone hurt.

People can look at Eli and think “What a brat!”, or “You just need to straighten that kid out”, or “I wouldn’t be able to put up with that.” The truth is at times I wonder if I can handle it, but all in all I know he is fighting a much stronger, bigger battle inside then I ever will. And for that, I can handle whatever comes… and I will always help calm the storms.

When Eli was diagnosed with Severe Autism, he was also diagnosed with a Severe Anxiety Disorder. Now, imagine being to smart for your own good, with a diagnosis of Autism, and anxiety.

For King (As my husband started calling him one day, which is quite fitting for Eli’s personality and his love of lions.), Sensory input helps a lot. Constantly working on how to use words and express feelings helps, and as needed but wish we didn’t, medication also helps. Eli has come so far… and I know he can go further. He is very strong willed and has surpassed things doctors have thought he wouldn’t be able to accomplish. He has goals and dreams like a lot of teens. He talks about going to college someday. We don’t know what the future holds for him, but I know he can overcome anything. He proves it everyday.

Just maybe, Slow and Steady does win the Race.