Grocery Trip and Special Needs

This Kid right here.

He just amazes me.

This is Carter, he is Eli’s brother. He is currently 11 years old going on 30.

During the weekday, I usually pick him up from school and we head to our local grocery store on our way home to pick up something to make for dinner. It’s just a little thing we like to do together.

Yesterday, I picked him up and we proceeded to go to our favorite little local grocery store right around the corner from our house. Pasta was sounding delicious for dinner that evening.

As we walked down the isles gathering our things, Carter spotted a young male walking and skipping down the isles by himself talking and singing away. It was noticeable he had down syndrome and Carter was worried that he was all alone. The next thing I knew, Carter had made his way over to this very robust free-spirited young man and started talking to him. They hung out together for the whole rest of our shopping trip.

At checkout, he hung out with us and when we were done we said goodbye to him and went our way.

When we left, Carter said that his grandma was in the hospital, and he was hanging out at the store with someone who I guess worked there.

After my son finished telling me all the things they talked about and how cool and sweet he thought he was, his little face got serious.

Mom? He asked me. Why were other people giving him disgusted looks while he was trying to talk to them or while he was just skipping down the aisles singing? Why were they ignoring him?

It reminded me once again how insanely proud I am of my son.

I told him that yes, as awful as it is, a few my be disgusted, but some people feel nervous around people with special needs, they don’t know how to act. They don’t know how to not be weird, they weren’t taught.

He said that’s ridiculous! What, like they are scared? Yes, I told him.. I guess in a way, some people are. Carter just couldn’t wrap his head around it. How can they be scared of him when he is a human being just like us?

I told him “See this one of the many reasons you are special. You have such a kind heart Carter, and you are right, he is no different from you and me. You have the privilege to have Eli as a brother, you know what it is like to be around your brother who has special needs. You see first hand what it’s like and how hard your brother works to learn and accomplish certain things.”

“You know that he may do things differently, but he is no different. You my son, will make a difference in the world.”

โ€œBE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD.โ€

โ€”Mahatma Gandhi

Aggression is Never Okay

I love this kiddo so much.

Last night was a very sad evening.

What was supposed to be a fun time ended with our hearts bruised, heavy, and sad.

Autism aggression is a real thing.

It can be a very scary thing.

It needs to be talked about.

Sometimes it comes on so fast, sometimes you can’t make it better or help make sense of things until it is over.

Sometimes things break and shatter, and nothing feels okay. It can be heartbreaking. The severity of it can be so much that you pray it doesn’t end in a wreck or a hospital visit.

I know we are not the only family dealing with this.

The only thing you can do is pick yourself back up, work and learn from mistakes, and try, try again.

You pray next time it will be just a little less scary.

For Eli, working on the thing that triggered the aggressive behavior and desensitize him from it, along with a LOT of conversations and open communication is the only way to help move past to make sure it hopefully doesn’t happen again.

Eli’s aggression comes from lack of communication, an anxiety disorder, and anger that flares up very quickly that makes him want to attack.

We will always work on these things every single day, giving him the tools to calm himself and express himself in a more appropriate manner.

Eli has come so far. Even though his aggressive attacks might be farther apart, the fact that he is getting bigger, makes it much more destructive.

Communicating by the use of aggression is never okay. I know Eli is capable of learning to verbally communicate and work on not getting to that “seeing red” point.

I refuse to give up or believe that he can’t overcome this. I believe he can.

Being the Only Sibling

I don’t know what it is like to be the sibling to someone with special needs.

I don’t know what it is like to be the “only” sibling of someone with special needs.

But, my youngest does.

Carter loves his brother, even though it’s hard for them to connect most times. He looks out for him at school and even though they fight just the same as other brothers, Carter is always there for him.

Carter and I love to get away sometimes and have mom/son night. Just the two of us, so I can give him ALL of my attention.
I think this is so important.

Last night we went and saw the movie Underwater. Since when did PG13 movies get so scary? Or am I just getting older?! ๐Ÿ˜‚

We always look forward to the next little outing and can’t wait to share these with you guys!

A little bit about Carter:

Carter is an upbeat 11 year old, and will be 12 in March. He is the youngest in the family and quite the artist. His favorite medium is working with artist’s markers.
He has played baseball in the past but has a passion of starting football, and plans to start flag football this spring.
He is funny and kind, and quite the little jokester. He loves legos and he hopes to be a famous YouTuber some day.