Tag: autism

How Far We Have Come

by Amy Green, posted in Uncategorized

Here is Eli from about 7 years ago when I had started an in-home ABA and Floortime Approach programs with him. He was so tiny! You can also tell that video was nowhere near as good as it is now!

These programs were a lot of work on both parts and helped get him where he is now.

I had to start from scratch.. just the basics.

I started out with teaching Eli how to sit when asked, eye contact, and then moved on to things like showing him how to play pretend, throw a ball, and more.

It is so amazing to see how far he has come.

At the time I used an online ABA program that was available to parents for a monthly subscription, now it is only available to school districts and they have gotten rid of the parent portal. I think at the time, they just didn’t get enough people joining.

Advertisements

The great thing about it was that they had doctor’s and BCBA’s actually showing video examples of how to proceed with your child for each exercise, they gave you paperwork to print off to keep track of responses, and they had an online area where you could enter all the information you collected, so you could see how your child was progressing over time.

I did contact them, they said that as of right now they don’t have any intentions to bring the parent portal back… but that it didn’t mean they wouldn’t in the future.

As Autism Lion grows, I will be contacting them again.

Personally, I do believe we need to be able to teach our children within the comfort of our own homes. There are too many children not getting the appropriate services because of lack of finances, funding, insurance, long waitlists, and more.

Grocery Trip and Special Needs

by Amy Green, posted in Uncategorized

This Kid right here.

He just amazes me.

This is Carter, he is Eli’s brother. He is currently 11 years old going on 30.

During the weekday, I usually pick him up from school and we head to our local grocery store on our way home to pick up something to make for dinner. It’s just a little thing we like to do together.

Yesterday, I picked him up and we proceeded to go to our favorite little local grocery store right around the corner from our house. Pasta was sounding delicious for dinner that evening.

As we walked down the isles gathering our things, Carter spotted a young male walking and skipping down the isles by himself talking and singing away. It was noticeable he had down syndrome and Carter was worried that he was all alone. The next thing I knew, Carter had made his way over to this very robust free-spirited young man and started talking to him. They hung out together for the whole rest of our shopping trip.

At checkout, he hung out with us and when we were done we said goodbye to him and went our way.

When we left, Carter said that his grandma was in the hospital, and he was hanging out at the store with someone who I guess worked there.

After my son finished telling me all the things they talked about and how cool and sweet he thought he was, his little face got serious.

Mom? He asked me. Why were other people giving him disgusted looks while he was trying to talk to them or while he was just skipping down the aisles singing? Why were they ignoring him?

It reminded me once again how insanely proud I am of my son.

I told him that yes, as awful as it is, a few my be disgusted, but some people feel nervous around people with special needs, they don’t know how to act. They don’t know how to not be weird, they weren’t taught.

He said that’s ridiculous! What, like they are scared? Yes, I told him.. I guess in a way, some people are. Carter just couldn’t wrap his head around it. How can they be scared of him when he is a human being just like us?

I told him “See this one of the many reasons you are special. You have such a kind heart Carter, and you are right, he is no different from you and me. You have the privilege to have Eli as a brother, you know what it is like to be around your brother who has special needs. You see first hand what it’s like and how hard your brother works to learn and accomplish certain things.”

“You know that he may do things differently, but he is no different. You my son, will make a difference in the world.”

“BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD.”

—Mahatma Gandhi

Ice Cream Mishap and Communication 1 of 2

by Amy Green, posted in Uncategorized

Meltdowns are hard.

Meltdowns, as your child gets older and into their teens and adulthood, are extremely hard.

You want to keep them safe, keep yourself safe, and everything around you safe.

Eli has behavioral issues that just take over at times. His aggression seems to stem from his Anxiety and then not being able to express himself and communicate.

So we constantly talk and communicate.

By repeating and communicating over and over again, it helps to stick with Eli. You will notice by the end of our chat, Eli was able to answer a few things he couldn’t before. You could also tell he was quite sick of me… I think I saw an eye roll at one point lol!

For us, it is always better to use calming techniques first and then discuss the situation later.

Then, I will recreate what the trigger was in a controlled situation to help Eli get past it, and grow from it so it isn’t an issue in the future.

When Eli was little, I couldn’t talk to him… there was a huge communication barrier. He would just scream. So I would keep it short and pretty much go straight into the exercises.

There was a time I didn’t think any of it was working, but I just kept doing it.

What could I possibly lose? Nothing.

What could I possibly gain? Everything.

Ice Cream Mishap 2 of 2

by Amy Green, posted in Uncategorized

So after my little talk with Mr. E about his behavior on our Ice Cream outing, I recreated the situation where these behaviors happened, but in a controlled environment.

I try to make it a positive experience. This helps Eli to understand that maybe next time, he can use his “big words”, and try to control his anxiety and frustration in a different way.

If you didn’t watch our previous conversation video “Ice Cream Mishap 1 of 2” make sure you do so you can see the process!

I am so incredibly proud of the way he handled himself this time!

Cooking Activities are Great for Picky Eaters!

by Amy Green, posted in Uncategorized

Sensory Disorder, Allergies, Gastritis, Autism, Anxiety.

All of these things can make for what some might refer to as a picky eater. And within good reason I believe.

Cooking activities are a great way to help your child get acclimated to new food items. Especially if you start with no intentions of making them taste or eat it.

Now, I know that sounds like the opposite of what you want to happen, but by multiple exposure alone, it helps desensitize and make non preferred foods seem less scary.

I incorporate cooking at home from time to time, and Eli’s school also incorporates cooking as well. Eli loves cooking. Whether he eats it or not, it helps to desensitize him.

I usually pick recipes of things he likes or will eat, and occasionally add in something new. If we are cooking dinner, I make sure to prepare for it early enough so there is no rush, and I have some sort of light snack, but nothing that will ruin his dinner.

Eli loves the satisfaction of the process. The family sitting down to eat what he helped cook, especially if it is a favorite meal.

We have worked up to this though.

If you are just starting out, here is a great read with tips from Autism Nutritionist Jenny Friedman.

“Fun Cooking Activities for Kids with Autism”: https://www.jennyfriedmannutrition.com/blog/cooking-with-an-autistic-child

Aggression is Never Okay

by Amy Green, posted in Uncategorized

I love this kiddo so much.

Last night was a very sad evening.

What was supposed to be a fun time ended with our hearts bruised, heavy, and sad.

Autism aggression is a real thing.

It can be a very scary thing.

It needs to be talked about.

Sometimes it comes on so fast, sometimes you can’t make it better or help make sense of things until it is over.

Sometimes things break and shatter, and nothing feels okay. It can be heartbreaking. The severity of it can be so much that you pray it doesn’t end in a wreck or a hospital visit.

I know we are not the only family dealing with this.

The only thing you can do is pick yourself back up, work and learn from mistakes, and try, try again.

You pray next time it will be just a little less scary.

For Eli, working on the thing that triggered the aggressive behavior and desensitize him from it, along with a LOT of conversations and open communication is the only way to help move past to make sure it hopefully doesn’t happen again.

Eli’s aggression comes from lack of communication, an anxiety disorder, and anger that flares up very quickly that makes him want to attack.

We will always work on these things every single day, giving him the tools to calm himself and express himself in a more appropriate manner.

Eli has come so far. Even though his aggressive attacks might be farther apart, the fact that he is getting bigger, makes it much more destructive.

Communicating by the use of aggression is never okay. I know Eli is capable of learning to verbally communicate and work on not getting to that “seeing red” point.

I refuse to give up or believe that he can’t overcome this. I believe he can.

A Hard and Scary Truth

by Amy Green, posted in Uncategorized

As I watch Eli play, I am thinking about how sweet he is. How lovable, how innocent, how funny, and how cute he is.

My son just turned 14, but mentally he is probably more around the age of 3-5.

It’s hard to believe that he will be old enough in three years to walk out the front door and unless I have power of attorney, there is nothing law enforcement can do about it.

The thought of going through this sounds hard, and scary.

At Seventeen, a lot of parents are preparing their teen for what college they want to go to, what they want to major in, and mapping out their journey.

Most Seventeen year olds are driving, have cars, and possibly have a boyfriend or girlfriend.

I will be able to go through these things with Carter, Eli’s little brother… and I am grateful for that. But it breaks my heart that Eli will not be doing these things. Instead, we will be on a path of power of attorney, and deciding whether to keep Eli in school until he is 21. Special needs adult work programs and adult daycares don’t sound appropriate for him either.

Now don’t get me wrong, I thrive on the celebration of every little win and I couldn’t be any more proud of Eli or to be his mother. It just hurts when you can’t give your child everything you have every wanted for them.

Advertisements

My son has dreams just like everyone else. He has verbally stated that he wants to attend college, he wants freedom, and I want him to have all these things. Some he won’t, and some he will, it just might take a little longer.

He has to work so hard for even things that may come simple to others, My son is an amazing human being.

I don’t doubt he can do anything…

He is my beautiful son.

Being the Only Sibling

by Amy Green, posted in Uncategorized

I don’t know what it is like to be the sibling to someone with special needs.

I don’t know what it is like to be the “only” sibling of someone with special needs.

But, my youngest does.

Carter loves his brother, even though it’s hard for them to connect most times. He looks out for him at school and even though they fight just the same as other brothers, Carter is always there for him.

Carter and I love to get away sometimes and have mom/son night. Just the two of us, so I can give him ALL of my attention.
I think this is so important.

Last night we went and saw the movie Underwater. Since when did PG13 movies get so scary? Or am I just getting older?! 😂

We always look forward to the next little outing and can’t wait to share these with you guys!

A little bit about Carter:

Carter is an upbeat 11 year old, and will be 12 in March. He is the youngest in the family and quite the artist. His favorite medium is working with artist’s markers.
He has played baseball in the past but has a passion of starting football, and plans to start flag football this spring.
He is funny and kind, and quite the little jokester. He loves legos and he hopes to be a famous YouTuber some day.

The Kansas City Boat Show 2020

by Amy Green, posted in Uncategorized

Does your child need the use of headphones to help drown out noise for sensory issues?

For Eli, it all depends on where we are going. If it is loud, we always make sure to have them handy or the poor little guy will be holding his ears the whole time.

Last Night we went to the Kansas City Boat and Sports show. They had a discount for families on Thursday night, and since it was a weeknight, we figured it might not be as packed.

When we parked the car and were ready to head in, I realized we forgot Eli’s Headphones!!!!

Now, if you your kiddo is a “headphone” type kiddo, it’s like a straight panic attack when you realize you don’t have them.

So, We just figured if we go in and it’s to much, we will just leave…. no biggie.

Guys, the place was amazing! It was so sensory friendly, really quiet actually and our whole family had a blast!

Advertisements

The boys each played a reality video game, they were selling the coolest swings you could relax in, and we saw all kinds of boats, fish and more.

Remember me talking about haircuts, how we love Eli’s long hair and it works for him? How others sometimes think Eli is a girl? Well, at one point two female security guards ran us down when Eli and Scott were getting ready to hit the bathroom to inform them that they couldn’t because “she” had to use the girls bathroom.

We explained he is a boy, and I turned to her and said “You know, boys can have long hair too.” She just turned her nose up and walked off.. lol!

(Carter wouldn’t smile for me that stinker 😂, But he did have fun pretending to be super strong holding this boat up!)

The Forbidden Word

by Amy Green, posted in Uncategorized

If you are a parent like me with a child on the spectrum, chances are we both have something very unique in common. Something that most would think is a very simple thing to do, something that is just a part of life. But for us, it’s not.

Do I dare say this forbidden word? I don’t know if I can handle to even whisper it… but here it is:

“HAIRCUT”. Yes, there, I said it.

This word in the Autism world for most is a very very bad word and almost
sounds like an insult or cuss word when we hear it leave someone’s lips.

How many amens am I getting right now?

When Eli was little, this very word was like world war III just broke out. Like an Apocalyptic rage started and zombies would soon be roaming the earth in chaos and destruction.

Okay, maybe not that bad, but it would feel pretty darn close.

I tried everything under the sun to make his haircuts into a positive thing.
We went to salons, they were to busy and he wouldn’t let anyone touch him. Hearing the clippers turn on would make him jump out of his seat and run for the door. Even after watching his brother Carter go a million times, it always ended up with us in the car waiting for Carter to get finished.

At home, I used and tried everything.. watching videos, playing videos, snacks, rewards, covering face, I even bought silent trimmers (If you would like to try some, I would suggest these from amazon: https://amzn.to/2FUmfTk) which were much more silent than your regular ones.

The feeling of it running over his hair, the vibration, the sound… He would go into shear torture every single time.

There were only two options: Shave Eli’s whole head quickly in one swoop, or use a combo of mostly scissors (This would painfully take hours with breaks because he couldn’t hold still) and then shave at the end… but scissors were even an issue. I tried massaging his head before hand, briberies, anything I could think of. But he was always so miserable and it always left him with sensory overload and in tears. I hated him feeling that way. It just wasn’t fair. So we would hold out as long as we could, schedule a day just perfect where he didn’t have to go anywhere or do anything to crazy the following day. Eli did progress in getting his hair cut, but not ever enough and we still were both miserable.

Around the time the movie Aquaman came out Scott and all the boys decided they were going to start growing their hair out because it would be cool… What?! I’ve thought about doing this with Eli in the past, but it just never really sunk in and I didn’t know how he or I would manage long hair… It is a lot more to take care of. I knew if it didn’t work out, we could just cut it. But, that would regress any and all progress we have ever gotten.

Could this be the answer to such pain and agony?
We were going to find out.

Fast forward about one and a half years later…

Advertisements

So far it’s the best decision we have ever made. Eli is so much happier, and he LOVES his long hair. He does require help in washing it, but he did before as well… something we will continue to work on. We have to work on brushing and his sensitivity to small tangles, but still so worth it.

When we go places, we hear people reference Eli as her, or “how are you two ladies doing?” I just laugh, because Eli doesn’t notice and he does have a pretty face and lashes to die for.

Eli and I will start working on trips to the salon again this summer, if for nothing but to get his hair washed so he is still working on something and then get to where he is okay with having it trimmed. I am fine with trimming his hair myself, but I need to prepare Eli to be self sufficient without me as well.

For now we are enjoying the freedom from it all. And, for anyone who thinks boys and men should have short hair I have only two words for you…. “Jason Momoa”. 😂🥰

I look forward to this summer and hopefully helping my son to see the salon as a fun and relaxing experience rather than a worst nightmare.